Tuesday, August 23, 2011

What Happened The Other Day

I think the first thing I should tell you is that I'm not "Nick". That out of the way, maybe the rest of this will get easier. Probably not though.

Lets start with the important things, shall we?
  • I'm not a "Proxy."
  • I'm not a Mortal Enemy of some kind of the writer taunting him.
  • I'm not replacing "Nick" as the blogger. I'm supplementing him in this current situation.
  • "Nick" is not dead.
  • Do not come pouring out of the woodwork to declare that you will kill me, that you are superior to me, and that you represent some kind of god. I'm aware of the existence of the "Fears", and the Slender Man is just another one of them. They are not gods. Be insane somewhere else.
  • I'm not a nice person. I apologize for everything I'm going to tell you.

That said, you're all wondering about where "Nick" is. On Saturday, someone named Spencer decided to make a deliver from Philadelphia to New Mexico. Your "Sage" Ryuu reported on what she thought happened, and what she learned from "Nick's" roommates.

I'm keeping "Nick's" habit of linking items of note. It's a good habit. Cuts down on confusion.

All of this said, I am not a writer. I'm an accountant. This isn't something I want to be doing, but I don't have a choice in the matter.

On Friday, I received a phone call. I am assuming it was from the man you call "Time Lord." He mentioned a number of illegal things I've done over the years, and that evidence of them was stored somewhere regarding them. He in fact, listed ALL of the illegal things I've done over the years. Then he told me what I needed to do for him to keep my life.

1: Go to the location of "Nick Dwyer." Inject him with my knockout drugs of choice, load him into a cheap, light, inexpensive coffin (conveniently located at a nearby Mortuary for pickup.) Do so within a VERY narrow period of time.

2: Transport said coffin to a specific street corner.

This is where a snag in the plan happened. Namely that whoever was attacking "Nick's" house. Unmarked cars, unmarked men in suits, lots of guns, and they tried to lock down the area. I made it through, I dropped off the coffin, I nearly killed two people, and I got out. This was problematic, but according to Time Lord, "An acceptable amount of Risk."

I am not happy.

3: Edit items currently on the blog "Records of an Impossibility", use a password that I'm not placing on the open internet, Present them after I have some kind of revelation (Gods only knew what he meant by that), and have fun. Oh, and edit them and add my own notes. Also: Apparently, the men in suits will not see these due to a perception filter. I hate perception filters.

If you have questions about me, I may answer them. I have familiarized myself with SOME of "Nick's" reading material, but not all of it. If you would like to know where "Nick" is, I can't tell you. What I can tell you is that he is very much alive, and if what Spencer said is true he is very capable of walking out of that coffin and continuing on with his life. I will point out however, that you people are NOT my responsibility, and that this isn't my problem. I'm just doing my time until this "Time Lord" says our deal is through. As per why I am not simply posting this as "AmalgamationSage", lets be honest with ourselves. It wouldn't be respectful, as I am not actually this "Nick Dwyer."

As per why I'm writing his name entirely in quotations, it's because that's about as appropriate a name for him as calling a toaster Clarice. I don't know WHAT it is that it reminded me of, besides a loaded gun, but his spiritual form is familiar to me. It's confusing.

Like I said before, I'll answer questions if you'd like. In the mean time, it appears there's a VAST stack of posts that I've been ordered to read through that "Nick" never posted. I've got a lot of reading to do.


  1. ... What the fuck.

    Fucking fuck.

    Guck Nick, please be alright. Ellen, if you're lying... fuck.

    Time Lord. I know you're reading this. I will deck you one day. Possibly repeatedly. I'll probably also kick you in the nuts.

  2. "I am not happy."
    You know what? I'm not too happy either. Agreed. Second'd. It would be nice to know the whole story.

    So were you the girl I saw? Because that was one spectacular escape, I /DO/ have to say. Not willing to do some courier work on the side, are you? ;)

    ... So Nick WAS in there. Probably should've been a bit more careful-

    Nahhhhh. He's a tough dude. He'll be fine.

    (I hope.)

  3. If it makes you feel any better, the interior was padded and I put enough drugs in his system with that needle to keep him out for twenty-four hours.

    As for courier work, I want to be away from this as soon as possible. I'll avoid it if I can help it. I am glad that you respect my expertise, however.

  4. Oddly enough, knowing the level of drugs he was forced to take does NOT make me feel better, Ellen.

    But y'know what? fine. I can understand that you were coerced into doing this. I don't even really care that you're enough of a criminal to have to bow to such blackmail.

    What I want to know is, what do you know about what Nick does? And can you clarify what you mean by "familiar"?

  5. Luck has never been on my side. What I knew about Nick at the time was that he was a mystic. A powerful one too. As for familiar, I tried to kill him at some point. It's the only thing that makes sense.

    I'm reading through this blog, and I'm getting nervous. It's too familiar.

  6. ...You really know how to endear yourself to your audience, don't you?

    But okay, I'll bite. What, specifically, is familiar? More importantly, you're speaking as though you met him in person before. When? And under what circumstances?

  7. This guy writes about the Astral Plane. That means I can be certain that I tried to kill him on the Astral Plane. Sadly, that doesn't narrow things down nearly enough.

    I'm working on it Ryuu. I'll figure it out soon enough.

  8. A Sage in a Box.

    Well... I suppose it beats the bus, yes?

  9. That's a shame. :(
    And what's a drugged guy in a coffin between friends if you haven't tried to kill him once or twice~? If anything, I'm just curious to see, well, whatthefuckhappened to cause this mess.

  10. This is one big bumfuckery of a post. Why posting should be required for such errands is beyond me.