For all those just tuning in, my life has gone from mildly uncomfortable to downright insane.
I've been spending the last few weeks preparing for a head-to-head confrontation with everyone's favorite Tall, Pale, Faceless entity. To do so, I commissioned an old buddy of mine (Codenamed: Forgemaster) to make me a sword.
I was cautious. Scott actually broached the subject of us teaming up early on. At the time, I was pretty worried about running into HER. SHE was insane, and had spent the last 6 years trying to kill me. SHE is now dead. I have not explained the story behind that yet, as explaining it...well, I'll get to it eventually. It hurts. She and I were close once. In any case, Scott got into some serious trouble right afterwards, and I made my official policy: if they're in range, and in trouble, I'm going to try and do something about it.
As I made all manner of pointless, silly, insane preparations, I began telling the story of the last eight years of my life. It seemed as good a way to pass the time when I wasn't Working, Preparing for Battle, or generally living my life. Unlike most other people trapped in this mess, I had taken the time and energy to go to the four corners of the astral plane and put together a little charm. It kept me off everyone's radar. I effectively had a little over a month to get ready. When I finally said outright what I was, I ended up becoming good friends with Hakurei Ryuu. As it turns out, she deals in some similar work. I came up with the obvious, DUH explanation that I was a Shaman later. Life is confusing sometimes.
During all of this, SHE was killed. I'll explain all of that sooner or later. Might be a long time before I get over it though.
Then Kay, who I've been talking about a variety of things with in regards to the supernatural, was kidnapped. Ryuu was in danger. And information surrounding the PTC suggests that the Veil between worlds is breaking down. That's my big oh-shit moment as of late. Sadly, I can't do a damn thing about it at this point. Not yet anyway. I'm keeping my eye open. Worrying about this has cut down on my sleep time as of late.
That said, I intended to fulfill my rescue Policy. I picked up Hakurei Ryuu, and we rolled out to North Jersey to rescue Kay. Morningstar went after my friends back home while we were doing this. I was angry. In any case, Ryuu and I continued with our rescue operation. It's not like anyone doubted we could pull it off. We totally succeeded, and got Kay out.
In the aftermath of our glorious victory, I decided to duke it out with Morningstar to try and keep Hakurei Ryuu and Kay out of the line of fire. It did not go well, but Morningstar had to stay out of the picture for a while. I'm pretty sure he's STILL on the mend from that.
Still injured, I stopped off in Newark to give Snore de Bliss a hand. Shit got goddamn ridiculous. I was definitely a first for me. But Snore got the information he needed, and I got confirmation that I'm still some kind of cosmic badass. The fact that I killed a man and have to deal with all sorts of psychological trauma and the risk of insanity notwithstanding.
In the mean time, my oldest ally Time Lord has betrayed me. Or at least, he mindwiped me somehow and dumped me back at my house, which I've determined cannot be the truth. The sword that Forgemaster made me is missing. Time Lord went into my head, caused all kinds of shenanigans, and I'm pretty sure he's running some kind of bizarre con. Weird posts are showing up on this blog that I did not write, something about a Maiden and killing, apparently. I don't know what's going on. The world's going to hell, and I'm getting more confused by the second.
Here's what I do know: I did in fact continue to Time Lord's house on the day he mindwiped me. Then I performed a completely insane rescue of one of his new students, a woman I'm Code Naming: Weaver. I went back to Time Lord's house a few days later to see what clues I could find about the rescue, and what happened afterwards. I tear gassed myself, got beaten up a bit, and found a lead to a dance club in Buffalo. I would end up GOING to said dance club, and I finally had my first confirmed encounter with SlenderDouche McTall Pants since the November Incident, as well as tear gassing a room full of bouncers, and Time Lord's three students. The tear gassing was mandatory, because it looks like my past has come back to haunt me. A certain murderous, vicious bunch of bastards from my old days are after Time Lord and his students. This just got messy as fuck. Anyway, I had the Fire Department rescue the three students (Spinner, Weaver, and Cutter), by...starting a fire in the club they were in. Don't question my brilliance. And then things got worse. The vicious bastards beat me to the hospital, and were going to take Spinner, Weaver, and Cutter out from under my nose. Well, it was time to get serious: Enter the Gonzo Journalist Totem. I have met my ancient enemy Mastermind once more. I will kill him. That is a promise.
Anyways, now my life is even screwier, because between how I was somehow at home the whole time I was in Buffalo before, mixed with the fact that I was literally in two places at once throughout my time at Club (Suspect), I'm getting the worst headaches of my life. And lets face it, when you're dealing with a dimensional mess this bad...I'm probably a dead man. But I have a plan. It is a cunning, cunning thing. Spinner, Weaver, and Cutter should be safe for now.
The Jersey Devil was after me. I went on a speed run to New Mexico to shake him off. I succeeded, but I got stopped cold in Texas. Shit - Got - Surreal. I'm alive, the day is saved, and now I've been named the "Crazy Beastmaster", and Official Sage. It doesn't really change anything.
And then Kay was dropped into another dimension. For better or for worse, that's my bag. So, I suited up, rolled into Jersey, and went to work. This was a painful and difficult process. We pulled it off though.
After all that, we hung out for a while. It was good and relaxing. That said, life moved on. I met up with Hylocereus, who I've been in contact with for a while now. It was a lot of fun. Then I spent a little while longer with Kay, just to be sure her house was safe.
And now I'm back home, trying to decipher information that never got to you guys due to some kind perception filter that was placed on my blog that affects all the readers. I was nearly killed in a nightmarish assault, but I'm okay. Scott is probably dead. We really don't know at this point.
I need to inform you all about Mastermind. I need to deal with Slendy. And I need to deal with this filter around my damn blog. And I need to do it all in style. Can it be done?
Hi, I'm Ellen. I'm taking over for this temporarily. I investigated and walked through the last of the "Missing Hours posts." I don't want anything to do with this. The sooner I have it figured out, the better.
