Monday, March 28, 2011

Green Man is wounded -/|\- Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do -/|\- The Rogue Mess Explodes

 Green Man is in the Hospital. Morningstar is on the run.

I think I know what Green Man sent after the son of a bitch. He's going to have all kinds of fun.

Talked to Forgemaster. I blame myself, he blames the people who started this. Green Man is in surgery, and I'm busy trying to follow the trail of MurderTentacles McSuitBlank.

I'm going nuts in the back seat of this car. Assuming I wasn't already nuts, anyway. I've gotten good enough at following the trail that I can use Ryuu's netbook to check up on things as my mind races along the path. This thing's been through North Jersey enough times to know all the good restaurants, bars, and parking spots. At first, I thought I'd try marking down all the threads on a roadmap, I gave up after the first four hours. It's a tangled, seven dimension mess that needs a proper 3D model to describe. It's vexing, and figuring out where exactly Kay IS on said potential 3D model is nothing short of maddening. It can only be getting worse for Kay, and I'm stuck riding the astral plane with my mind in the back of the car. I didn't think it would take me this long.

Well, I refuse to lose to this monstrosity. I have my horrible, brilliant scheme to enact, and Ryuu's got my back. We're going to win this. And worrying about Green Man is NOT going to help me do that. I've got to do this the right way.


On a lighter note!
Things Amalgamation Sage is Not Allowed to Do when Hakurei Ryuu is driving:

1: "Do not interrupt the Shaman while he is Shamanizing!" Is never an effective response to, "Do I turn left or right?"

2: Cackling madly when you think you understand the way you need to drive is ONLY acceptable when you're correct.

3: Pathfinder may be superior to D&D 3.5, but that does not mean that you can argue about it online using Ryuu's netbook!

4: Sage cannot cover the Gas bill on his own. He does NOT have the money for that, even if he says he does.

5: Even if Traffic Circles are the work of Satan, we still have to use them. Do not argue otherwise.

6: "Nuke the site from orbit" is NOT the only way to be sure.

7a: If Ryuu says you need a hug, then goddamn it, you are getting a hug!
7b: Unless Ryuu is driving. Then you're getting the goddamn hug after she parks.

8:  Being able to practice Kung Fu moves in the backseat while tracking The Thing is all well and good, but if it distracts the driver too much, she has the right to veto further technique usage.


Because when you're in the car all day, you have plenty of time to write. I started writing this around 6 PM. Green Man is stable and all is right in the world. Now I write, follow trail, write, follow trail...

The Rogue Mess Explodes:

I was pretty thick when I started out. And by thick, I think we should say up front that I was an Nth degree moron. I explained exactly how bad things were last time, but here's where things get really stupid: After Rogue General got nailed dead to rights by Time Lord and company, they tossed his army my way. My mission: Protect the general Philadelphia Area from enemy attack. Keep the place intact.

These were the worst soldiers in this or any other army. They were lazy, stupid, and downright evil in nature. Then again, they worked for a guy who was trying to overthrow the lord bossman of the Higher Planes. I would later find out it was not nearly so simple, but even where this guy was concerned there were pretty simple rules to keep in mind: This guy wasn't in it to do the right thing.. He was in it for the power, the money, the stuff that lets you know exactly how much of a monster he could be.

And they gave me this guy's troops. Now, the other thing that I wouldn't find out until later is that we were on the front lines. That the primary defense had been breached due to all the things I listed the other day, and that we were going to get the full brunt of the enemy offensive straight at us.

Lucky me, eh?

So, after all of this, I'm a rank amateur Nth degree moron trying to set up a defense. I'm pretty good at the whole strategic and tactical thing. I would have to be, considering how I've apparently done it in several lifetimes before this one.

And then I've got all five of the Rogues on my doorstep.

Me: "I'm going to have to place you all under arrest."
Rogue Wizard: "Okay. Can the act. You remember us, right? We need to go perform a coup now."
Me: "Wait. What? What are you talking about? Are you all insane?"
Rogue General: "...oh shit. He really doesn't remember anything. You've got to be kidding me."

They dispersed after that. I made no attempt to stop them, as I was not in the mood to be curbstomped. I determined something unfortunate at that point.: besides having probably been a total bastard, and not remembering about the majority of what I SHOULD know about my most recent past life, I was part of some kind of cosmic coup that went horribly wrong. Mostly because I didn't know I was supposed to be part of it.

And then it got worse. I'll get to that later.


  1. Bah sorry about what happened to your friends. That really sucks. I hope they are alright.

    Can't say much for the tracking. My own abilities are very limited.

    Also yes. 3.5 is pretty awesome but Pathfinder is even more awesome.

  2. He's the motherfucking Almagation Sage. I could'
    ve told the green man that.

  3. ... Could you restate that in a way that I'll understand, Hellfire? I'm feeling a wee bit stupid today. ^^;;;

  4. I would if I could but I was just being random, brah.

  5. People coming to you, thinking you're someone that you used to be.. well, it sucks. It sucks so fucking hard.

    What makes it even worse is when this person's responsibilities fall to you, and you have no idea what to do with them. I hope you regained a little bit of your equilibrium. For your sake.