Saturday, May 28, 2011


I started Friday morning by stopping the drain on one of Kay's sinks, and filling it about half-way with water. I shoved my head in it and closed my eyes.

I was feeling that little something in the back of my chest. I felt it back in the day whenever I had to pull something really crazy with my "troops." I felt it whenever I had to show up wherever the Presence was, and do something batshit crazy to save the day.

We still hadn't found Kay. We didn't know how much longer she could last in there. I pulled my face out of the sink and stared at my face through the mirror. How would this face be remembered? What would be my Epitaph? "Always the wrong place, Always the wrong time, Always doing what he could until he could do no more."

How about, "Winning the War, One Broken Dream at a time."

Or my personal favorite, "Winning When it Doesn't Matter, Choking When The People He Cares About Are On The Line?"

The truth is gents, that I'm doing awfully well these days. When I get a chance to talk more about HER, The Presence, and the past, you'll understand what I'm saying here. Was Kay going to be another person on the list of people I've failed over the years?

After my brief moment of introspection, I emptied the sink and went to my laptop. I blinked a few times. Kay had posted. She was alive. We had a brief exchange of messages on her blog.. We also determined that Kay wanted Bacon and Extra Cheese on her pizza, which I assented to readily. I love Bacon on my pizza. I had previously determined the nearest and highest quality pizza place that did delivery, and placed it on my speed-dial.. We were ready for this. I'd spent all of Thursday forcing this other dimension to accept the fact that I could drop an astral projection on it's ass. I was READY for this, damn it. When I broke through to that other dimension THIS time, I had something else to help me out: Kay online. Having a direct connection to someone, via a phone line, or an instant messenger is exponentially helpful for this sort of thing. Using an astral projection to Locate someone is easier when you have more points of "contact" between yourself and another person. Kay and I have met multiple times, we had messenger contact with each other, and she was the only living human in the entire dimension. That was enough for me to track her down.

That's when I grinned, and decided what my Epitaph would be: "Welcome to the Impossible. It's time to save the world."

Normally, people cannot perceive Astral Projections, and projections can only barely  perceive the physical world from the astral plane. In this case though, when I blinked into range of her, there was this glorious moment where she jumped. She just plain jumped. She tilted her head slightly to the side, and my projection shrugged. Was she taller? No, I was just shorter. I waved to here, and motioned for her to follow me. She did, but she looked pretty confused.

I took a moment to adjust my robes and the sword at my belt as we walked. It was around then that I noticed just how REAL this dimension felt. If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought I was walking around on earth. But you know the difference between here and earth? Here I had a sword. We ran into a few leeches, and with a few sword-cuts and a handful of salt from Kay here and there they were dispatched.

I actually said to her as a joke, "You know, I wouldn't mind having a summer home out here."

Kay didn't say much in response. I've never really had much luck talking to people using an astral form, so I didn't expect anything. I don't even know if what she heard was in English.

Leeches scare the shit out of me in real life. In other dimensions with my astral form, lets face it, I've fought bigger and meaner things.

While all this was happening, Ryuu was setting up a circle around Kay's living room on Earth. Candles, incense, the works. Her job was the most important one for this next one. She was the fulcrum on which we would move the world. After a few hours of walking, Kay and my projection were back at this strange world's version of her house. This was the part where things got complicated.

You see, what our plan essentially came down to was that we intended to crack the veil and cosmic dynamite a way to the other dimension, and then close it when we brought Kay back. That's right sports fans, we were about to do the one thing that I've said you should never, ever do since I started this damn blog. But then again, my number one rule about rules has always been: If you're going to break the rules, BREAK THEM HARD, AND BREAK THEM WITH STYLE.

So here's how our circle worked. I was going to start pouring power into it, for the sole purpose of fucking shit up, while also pushing on Ryuu with it to hold her in place. That was very important. As the veil and the barriers between dimensions broke down, Ryuu was going to pull on Kay from our dimension with her force of will. Meanwhile, Kay needed to pull herself toward Ryuu with her will, but mostly she just had to hang on and stay alive as we brought her through. This combination was important, because any alternatives ran the risk of accidentally flinging someone off onto another dimension, and that would just be a terrible way for this to end. The key point: Ryuu had to pull on Kay, as Kay pulled on her, and I greased the way...all while we were cracking a hole big enough for her to slip through. The key point was Ryuu: Could she hold on and keep anchored to this world hard enough to get Kay through? Only one way to find out.

The trouble was, I could sense more Leeches around Kay's area. And some other things. Something dark, big, and nasty. If I left her in order to get to work on the circle, she could be in serious trouble on her own. Therefore I could say only one thing:

I handed her my astral form's sword and said, "It's dangerous to go alone. Take this!"

She took it, still looking at me funny as she did. Then i was back in the physical world. I immediately started going through the ritual we needed to pull Kay back into our world. This was the nail-biting, mind numbing part. Could Kay take care of business out there while we opened the door? Was the sword I gave her going to be enough?

As the dimensions shifted and the astral plane became a very real, physical thing around us, we saw a bunch of dead leeches around Kay. Then we saw it. This big, dark, spider-like thing whose body looked like it was made by a thousand shadowy-black knives. Kay sliced the damn thing in half, sending pieces all around the room. And then she walked into the circle with us.

And then, together in that circle, that's when we stood united. That's when we all started focusing. It was time to bring the world back to reality. We imposed our wills, and I gently drew the veil back around the room as best I could. It was messy. There were all kinds of weird noises. And the flow of energy in the whole place looks as though it had been torn asunder by a bunch of idiots. But the place was intact. After a few minutes, the world was what it should be.

I said to Kay, "Hand me my sword?"

She gave me this very confused look

I said, "Really. It's still there. Just hand it back to me."

She offered it to me as though she were offering someone a handshake. I could still sense where it was, so I was smart enough to duck under it.

"Watch it!" I said, gently taking it from her hand.

Kay cringed a little. She said, "Sorry"

I felt like a complete asshole, she really didn't need to be cringing after all of this. I sheathed the sword back at my side with a flourish that must have looked really stupid. Then I gave her a hug. Then we ordered pizza and relaxed. We were alive. We'll probably be here for a few days to make sure Kay's house is nice and secure. I still feel like a dick about the sword thing...but fuck, give me a break, these weapons are dangerous. I'm going to check the fridge to see if we've got any leftover pizza, now that I think about it.

Edit: NEVERMIND! Kay with the Delicious, Delicious Pot Roast! ^_^ HOORAY!


  1. Yes and you can stop feeling like a dick. I cringed because I thought I had hurt you. Now cut it out. I cooked for you, didn't I?

  2. So you're a chick in the astral plane, huh? Hehe. Sage the Busty Blue Mage. Like the ring to that moniker.

  3. e__e;;; Snore, I've got enough identity problems as it is. That moniker is NOT STICKING.

  4. Not sure what to think of you. Your story is crazy. Like a comic. Or a story you tell a child.

    And yet I believe it. Most of it. Some of it? What I'm trying to say is I trust you. You're a good man. You've helped so many. Keep it up.

  5. Thanks Donny. Keep in mind, this isn't a kid's story, whether I like it or not. You'll see what I mean soon enough.

    Thanks for the encouragement. It helps.

  6. You've officially labeled yourself a hypocrite.

    By chance, did Kay have any kind of trauma from being in that realm?