Thursday, May 26, 2011

Fizzle and Failure, Leeches and Lighting

It has not been a good day.

After the failures of yesterday, with rising concern about Kay's well-being, I decided it was time to get a sounding on this other dimension. In theory, you can get anywhere from the astral plane. So, I got relaxed in Kay's living room, and started meditating.

Meditating. It helps. My spirit left my body, stepping onto the astral plane. I looked around the house. The vandalized parts were healing nicely thanks to Ryuu's work. We were close to the Pine Barrens, but this place was much healthier than Philadelphia. Verdant green trees filled the area, and I could feel the tiny wisps moving from tree to tree.

I couldn't help myself. I reached out and touched one of the pale white wisps that had been bouncing from tree to try, and looked up at the pale blue sky. Wonderful. The wisp bounced around my form curiously, before continuing on its way. Wisps are strange little creatures, fairies of the kinder, more neutral persuasion. They don't really care, they're just joyful little things that bounce along their way. Some days, if you look right up at the sky, you can see thousands of them bouncing along.

Then I focused on the task at hand. Think of the Earth that you know as the hub, the central point of a nexus. Then, beyond that there is the astral plane that flows all around it in a giant bubble. From that bubble, you can connect to dimensions that are everywhere and nowhere, which occupy their own little bubbles. It's complicated, crazy, and I barely do it justice.

But from here, I tried to push my way into the broken, smashed dimension that Kay told us of. It wasn't hard, after all, the place had pulled Kay from her house into it's strange little fold. It made it's location VERY clear when it did that, leaving behind a perfect trail. When I found it, I tried to step through. Some dimensions offer more resistance than others when you try to enter them. This one was like trying to go through a steel security door. It pissed me off, so I started pushing harder. Then I felt something, as though someone had brushed past me when I wasn't paying attention. 

I opened my eyes in Kay's living room, and leeches were coming out of the walls. They just sort of plopped onto the ground from the ceiling. These bastards were maybe a foot long, with big sucking mouths and I could feel their hunger. I could feel their predatory intent. I could feel it pulsing through my veins. I don't do well with insects and arachnids, which is to say I leapt over the chair I was sitting in and ran into the kitchen. So I hopped onto the kitchen counter, freaking out. I grabbed a nearby salt shaker and started pitching the stuff at leeches. I ran out very, very quickly. A few of the leeches fizzled away, but they had started moving around the salt. All throughout, I heard this clunking noise in the other room. Suddenly, I realized: Ryuu! She was still in there! 

I grabbed a frying pan, and faced my phobia dead on. I leaped off the counter and squished two of the leeches with my feet, then started attacking them with the frying pan. Four went down quickly, but dear god there were a lot of the little bastards. I was safe in the big pile of salt though.

That's about when Ryuu came into the room with a fire poker, and demolished the fucking leeches. Seriously. She went to town on that shit like there was no tomorrow. And I'm standing there with my frying pan looking like an idiot.

It was about then that I said, "So yeah. Spiders and Leeches..."

She just gave me a look.

That said, I think I'll be able to get into the dimension tomorrow with a projection. Now I'm pissed. I will NOT be fucked with by any of this evil leech dimension bullshit.


  1. The Mad Ventriloquist understands Amalgamation Sage's dislike of insects. He finds them unsettling himself. Especially grasshoppers. But spiders as well. He has not much experience with leeches, but they do not seem very pleasant.

    The Mad Ventriloquist wishes Amalgamation Sage well on helping Kay, and offers any help he can do that does not require leaving his chair.

  2. Dammit, don't make me hungry for fried leeches. I just god damn well ate.

  3. Poor poor Sagey. So utterly useless. Not as much as Haku-Chan, I admit. But still completely incapable of helping your fellow Sage. How much longer will Kay last I wonder. I doubt it will be very long.

  4. Keep talking Star. I'll show you how this game is played.

  5. I know you're really busy and stressed right now but I thought this would cheer you up a little. I hope I got my facts right.

  6. OMFG, Joce, that is AMAZING. Thank you. =D We needed that.

  7. I try. You're welcome. Make sure everything goes well, we've got enough problems as it is.

    Leeches...what an apt name.

  8. I shall keep talking. I shall keep telling you how worthless you ultimately are. I shall tell you that your efforts are meaningless. That whether you save Kay or not, it merely delays the inevitable. That you, Valerie, Robert, The Shitty Rabbit, Zero and all the others are doomed to die die die die DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE. And accomplish NOTHING. All of you disgusting wretched humans make me SICK. SICK SICK SICK. I WANT YOU DEAD, I WANT TO KILL ALL OF YOU. SPILL YOUR UNWORTHY BLOOD ALL OVER THE ACCURSED EARTH.
    No amount of Jersey Devil slinging can save you. You will DIE. Kay will DIE. Valerie will DIE. WE WILL ALL DIE.

  9. Yes Star. But you'll die before I will. And you will have no lasting impact. Nothing will remember you. You'll be completely alone, for now and forever.

  10. Such is the fate of all things Sagey. To be forgotten. Buildings will crumble, memories will fade, ideas are forgotten, even bones will turn to dust.
    But you are wrong, oh so very wrong Sagey. I am never alone. He is with me. They are with me. Always, I can feel their love always. It is the only source of comfort I have in this world. And it is more than you shall have when you DIE.

  11. Hey there, morningglory. Tell me, are you right handed, or left handed?

  12. I can see someone likes to troll. XD

  13. You act like a little girl when in the presence of the squirmies, eh? Good to know.

    On a serious note, I know a lady who used a frying pan in much the same way. Trouble is, she used it on a proxy until he was in much worse shape than those leeches.

    It's always fun to see someone using that particular weapon.