Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Current Status -/|\- Club (Suspect) Escape

Current Status

Me and my very odd gang are taking emergency precautions.

I don't know what to tell you about my last post. Ryuu, the other times that "The Maiden" has shown up, I wasn't there to post. This time, it happened DURING a post. I don't know what to say, but I'm pretty sure nothing got through my head and typed through me.

I'm instituting General Paranoia rules, effective immediately. What the hell got this far inside my head? It's not Time Lord, this isn't his style. I really don't have time for this.

So you're probably wondering what the hell I'm doing at this moment? The honest answer is that the details of everything after Tuesday are remaining under wraps for now. I don't know who might be reading, and I intend to run one hell of a sucker punch. It's going to be a thing of beauty if it works.

That said, I see a whole bunch of new people reading in the last few days. Welcome! Try not to die.


Club (Suspect) Escape:

So when we last left my sorry ass, it was last Tuesday. My how time flies. So when we last left me, I was stuck in a Club with a room full of tear gassed individuals, three of which were Weaver, Spinner, and Cutter. I had to get the three out of Club (Suspect). In my way were the son of a bitch I will henceforth nickname Mastermind. Yeah, the old bastard with a voice like a seven foot tall man who'd been smoking all his life. Besides that were a small army of crooked bouncers and an entire club of potential trouble. I'm not a big guy, and there was no way I was picking up and carrying all three of them out of the place. There was now way I was making three trips in uncharted territory to get them out.

I asked Weaver, "You have my cell number, right?"

She blearily nodded.

I told her, "After they fix you up at the hospital, call me."

So I improvised. If I couldn't get them out on my own, I had to get someone else to bring them out. Following this line of logic, I pulled out one of the traditional tools of the trade: a cigarette lighter. You never know when you'll need to burn something for a quickie ritual. I had something else in mind though. I went back to the offices in the back, and set fire to the carpet. Then I pulled the fire alarm. I heard the pounding of the music in the club suddenly die, and then I went to step two.

I called the 911 from an office phone, and told them about a very specific room on the second floor that I had dragged some smoke inhalation victims to. Then I joined all of the people filing out of the club. It was kind of hilarious, you see. The minute you hit a fire alarm at a place like this, a signal gets sent to 911 to send in the Firemen. By telling the Firemen exactly where to go, Mastermind didn't have time to hide Weaver, Spinner, and Cutter somewhere else. Not to mention he had to use most of his bouncers to coordinate the evacuation. It's tough running a front business for an evil organization. He could try and call off the fire-fighters, but hey, there was an actual fire in the building. Not to mention that someone called 911 about smoke victims and a real fire going on. He just didn't have time to fix this mess. Now, I got really lucky. As it turns out, the nearest firehouse is only about 3 blocks from Club (Suspect). If that hadn't been true, he probably COULD have bluffed them off.

But he didn't.

Now that I think back on my plan, the sprinkler system probably took out the fire I started. Did the place have a decent sprinkler system? Probably. Whatever, it worked, I'll take it. The plan worked.

Note that during all of this, I went back to the office I had started in. I opened the window, dropped down onto the window ledge below it, lost my footing, and fell onto my ass. Dojo training has taught me how to take a fall, but sweet fancy Jesus Christ on a Crutches, I get sore just thinking about all of that.

From my car I spotted the Firemen remove the tear gassed bouncers, Weaver, Spinner, and Cutter. They were tossed into ambulances and taken out. Everyone looked very, very confused. I followed the Ambulances to the Hospital at a reasonable distance, then met Weaver, Spinner and Cutter after they were treated. This mess wasn't over yet though. After all, "Friends" were there to see to the injured bouncers.

I'll explain how THAT went tomorrow. Or the day after. It depends on how the current operation goes.


  1. Hmm. No hidden messages today, it looks like. Still wondering, still worrying, but hey - you're still alive. And, it seems, pretty successful.

    It is now official - pulling the fire alarm always works. =P

    Good luck on whatever comes next, I suppose.

  2. You left with all the people filing out...

    ...and then left again by botching a window-climb out the back? How did you leave twice?

  3. Well Obviously, I. Wait. What?

    Hi Reach. Well, I went out with the people, and they weren't caring. But then I. Migraine. I have a migraine. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.


  4. O_o I can't believe I missed that, but now I'm REALLY starting to worry. Don't start losing your mind this fast.

  5. Jesus. The rat race really needs to give you a break for once. Look after yourself, Sage. No one is ready to lose the Shaman yet~

  6. OK, I've got to admit, you've done pretty well, but still not quite right.

  7. Glad to hear the escape went well.

    Also, carried over from your last post but you should definitely trademark "Shamanic Lucid Dreaming Astral Combat Mega-bastard."

    Love Under Will

  8. You're absurdly good at busting your ass.