Friday, July 22, 2011

The Wedding

Oh yes. It did not go well. The German Bell-hop Morningstar (very much comparable to the picture above with the flaws in his disguise) was on a warpath, and we had ALL the usual suspects. It would be him, or any dozen of other proxies running around. We Tend To Attract Them. Hell, we even had Jean there. Although, she was passed out on a pew, rather drunk as a skunk, during the trouble. Then someone brought her to the reception, where she laid out drunk as a skunk. I wish she'd been awake for more of the festivities. Then again, it also meant she got to skip the trouble.

Ohhhh the trouble. The reception was attacked by the goddamn Village People. It started when Spencer pulled me, that Konaa kid, Elaine, and one of Spencer's delivery boys out of the party because we found the Chef dead in the kitchen. We sprang into action. Which is to say I stood there staring at the body.

The Chef's spirit was going nuts. He needed some rites, he needed time to deal with the fact that he was dead, and I had to put up with the whole show. The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny was going on everywhere around us, and I was trying to deal with the dead.

So they're carrying the body to dispose of it while I'm trying to tune out a completely berserk spirit (I can't believe I just wrote that sentence), and then we run into Bellhop/Morningstar, with all kinds of other craziness starting with chair explosions in the other room.

We split up. I had a score or three to settle with Morningstar. I managed to rush his ass into an elevator during all the craziness. I owed him for what he did to Forgemaster and Green Man. He nearly stabbed me to death, I got a cut on my arm that is now very well bandaged, I rammed his face against the wall a few times...and then the door opened to reveal Crouching Tiger and Brown Recluse.

Morningstar made his escape, I made use of some commercial pepper spray I made it a point to hide up my sleeves to blind Brown Recluse. Then Crouching Tiger gave me a good shot to the gut on my way out of the elevator. I was out of options. Crouching Tiger is capable of killing me with his bare hands unless I get all kinds of lucky

It's hard to fight in a suit. I needed to be someone who'd mastered it for this occasion. I'd been experimenting with this particular Totem as of late, and it was time to give it a practice run. I pulled out my sunglasses from inside my suit.

Suit + Tie + Sunglasses = The Agent.

The Agent is THE LAW. He represents The System, and upholding it.

The Agent said to Morningstar and his toadies, "I am the agent. You're all under arrest."

And they ran away. I still have no idea if the Agent is of any use. By the time I made it back to the reception hall, everything was pretty much getting back into order. And not too long after that, me and Elaine went back to our room. Nobody died, and no one on our side of things was seriously injured. It's damn good to be at a reception with armed Marines. Trained guests tend to cut down on the number of casualties.

I don't have much more to say about what happened. I was busy fighting Morningstar in the elevator. I missed most of the fun. You know, other than what happened at the wedding, I've been actually starting to feel better. Like maybe I can do what I need to do. Fun times.


  1. Yeah, Jake's friends helped a lot. And Cam's AMAZING skills at organizing chaos. Still can't hardly believe we actually pulled off a real reception after all of that.

    Still not a big fan of the Agent, but at least he saved your ass last night.

    I'm glad you're feeling better. Hopefully I've had a part in that.


  2. "Nobody died...."

    Except for the chef. Remember him? He kinda died.

    Also some proxies may or may not have been killed during all of this. You people have been making annoyingly contradictory reports.

  3. Omega, in their defense, it was a really weird evening. And in my defense, I'd rather drink than fight proxies.

  4. And now I feel like a horrible person. You're right Omega. The Chef died, and several of the proxies that attacked the wedding reception also died. And for some reason, they didn't register in my mind as "Counting."

    I'm going to go splash my face in cold water and wonder what this says about me.

  5. so that's how you found out i'm sure morning star will love to know and i can assure you if i had been in charge you never would have found that body and would all be dead right now
    sadly i'm not high enough in the ranks to lead these things

  6. ... Are you implying that I am incompetent?

  7. Mr. Dwyer, I would like to draw your attention to this, if you have not already seen it.

    -The Operative

  8. This was a nightmare to read, no matter what blog it was on.